This, my dear readers, is my very first attempt at cooking FISH! That’s right! No help, no screaming “BUT MOM ITS ON FIRE!!” and absolutely no cookbooks. Just me and the fish. And let me tell you, it was a frigging fantastic, if not heart stopping, experience. Tell you what; I’ll give you the recipe to this masterpiece. I call is, “The Dead Fish”


Step 1: Slice the raw piece of fish into flat thin slices. Stare at it for a moment and then slicing away again as the slices looks slightly big to you.

Step 2: Grab the biggest pan you can find and fill ‘er up with water. Take the steamer metal thingy and arrange the pieces of fish on top of it. Squeeze a bit of lemon on top of the fish and also sprinkle a little of Mixed Herbs. As there is still yet a bit of lime left in the piece of lemon, squeeze it in to the pan, which by now should be on the stove set to boil. Add a couple of cinnamon [yes, cinnamon] to the water and set the steamer thingy in, or rather on top of the water. Stare in horror as you realize that maybe you had added a wee bit more water than necessary. Nevertheless, gather up your courage and slide the pan cover on top.

Step 3: Grab the puniest and most pathetic carrot and the sturdiest onion you can find and start chopping away. Remember to chop the carrot in all sizes and shapes. Do this while steadfastly ignoring the pan, which would be sizzling with over flowing water on top of a very angry fire. Very angry.

Step 4: well, the fish ought to be steamed by now. You may now remove the metal steamer thingy and discover that the fish pieces look awfully puny and that they stick, yes stick, to the steamer. Ah, but don’t lose hope. Rinse out the pan and add the onions and chili. [Oh yes, there was the chopping of a very nasty looking chili in Step 3] Add some oil and let the onions get a bit red over the fire. Add some pepper and salt. Make a mad dash towards the fridge, grab the soy sauce bottle and dump a capful into the pan. Stir it a bit and then add some tomato ketchup. Sniff doubtfully and then grab the Chili and Garlic sauce bottle and dump some in as well. Allow yourself to smile as the thing actually smells kind of good. Turn around slowly. Let your eyes widen as you realize that u had completely forgotten about the carrots. Make a mad dash and hurriedly add them to the pan. And stir for about 3 minutes.

And there you have it, How to make the Dead Fish. How does it taste? Well, it tastes like fish…it was edible and not so bad.


  1. spark of silence said...

    lol.. yea lol
    really nice way of entertainin n persuadin lazy ppl to cook...hehe  


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