A True Story

the following is an account of one of the most terrible moments of my life:

i woke up early one day with an overwhelming desire to visit the bathroom. i could hear my mom and sister stirring upstairs so i rushed to the bathroom before they got to it first. like i said, i had an OVERWHELMING desire.

so there i am, half asleep, slumped on the toilet when a movement caught my eye. instant terror i tell you. a half-dead cockroach was half drowning in my little sisters bathtub. how do i know that it was half-dead? coz it was making twitchy movements. not the frenzied movements of Oh-God-I-Just-Landed-On-My-Back cockroaches. but feeble twitchy movements that pierced your heart. and it touched my heart. i FELT it , u knw.

i briefly wondered whether i should turn the thing over to its back. you know, actually help the little bugger. but then i had a startling vision of it rushing towards me the moment i turn it over and crawling all over my body and ,egad!, god knows what else. [shudder]

then i thought that i should kill the thing. i mean as long as i wasnt gonna rescue it best to put it out of its misery right? why didnt i?
my little thought bubble displayed a papa roach leading a roach army.
"chaarrrrgeee! she shall pay for this! how dare she take away my precious Herbert's precious life?!?! kill her i sayy!! "

on the other hand if i was to let it die a long suffering death [like it was at the moment] a roach army could still come after me.
" men, she let Herbert SUFFER! she doesnt have a decent humane bone in her human body! she will not get away unscathed ... CHAARRRGE!!"

so i sat there, swamped with guilt. i was quivering mass of guilt-jelly i tell you. it was the most horrible feeling in the world. knowing that i didnt have the courage to turn it over and also knowing that i couldnt bring myself to actually kill something [ even if it was a cockroach]. but i also couldnt let it suffer like that. no living thing should suffer like that. i could only imagine myself in the position. half drowning , half dying and completely helpless to do something about it.

what do i do? WHAT DO I SAY TO GOD ON JUDGEMENT DAY?!

in my near hysteric guilt soaked state i did the only thing any one would have done. i called forth a mighty warrior. Someone who had the answers to everything. the mighty fearless all knowing warrior.

i finished my business,ran outside the toilet, opened my mouth and screamed , "MOMMAAA!!!!"

5 comments:

  1. Simon said...

    Good one. Same sort of thing happened to me involving a spider.

    I let it go of course.  

  2. Anonymous said...

    I'v done the same thing several times.. and yes its the most horrible feeling.. its such a fix.. i am scared of spiders and most creepy crawlies.. howver much it bothers me i just cant bring myself to kill it...  

  3. Anonymous said...

    well. it was called Herbert. reason enough to kill it.

    Unless, of course, you gave it the name of Herbert yourself. in which case you will be reincarnated as a cockroach.

    PS. dont try to scare me when you are born again Herberta :0  

  4. bulhaa said...

    dear alinitkin,ur lucky i dont believe in reincarnation coz if i ever to be reincarnated as a Herberta named cockroach i swear to you, im gonna haunt you for the rest of your life. i will pop in ur food, on ur web page,on your bed etc etc..


    :D  

  5. Gwynciar said...

    a Herberta named cockroach.
    A dyslexia with a person?
    A sense of humour that knows no bounds.
    See it now, broadcast live from BLREGH studio. You don't wanna miss it.

    Good night, and good luck.  


 

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