Guys, this is what you do. And girls, these are the tricks that they pull over us.

THE TRUTH THAT EVERYONE KNOWS [but I’m writing down anyway]

Before I begin, let me curse my keyboard to the depths of all corners of Hell. [Stupid thing keeps getting stuck] and also, if you find offence in anything that I have written…well… there’s nothing I can do about it…feel free to bitch.

(In no particular order)

  • Find a girl [okay, I lied. This IS number one]

  • Start either meeting her up, or calling her. Late night phone calls are much encouraged.

  • During the first few days of getting to know her, don’t call or meet up with her TOO much [like every day, coz that’s just freaky and it’s a well known fact that unavailable guys are hotter].

  • When you are out with the guys, SMS her. This makes her feel included in your life and gives her the misconception that she might be as important to you as your guy friends.
  • Tell her a huge secret of yours [you can even make it up] and pretend that she’s the only one that knows about it, or at least one of the few.

  • And when she tells you her big stuff, [which she will if you have followed the previous stuff] pretend to listen and CARE.

  • The next time you meet her, look into her eyes for extended periods of time. [this gets the butterflies started and trust me dude, you want butterflies]

  • By now, if you are lucky she’ll be thinking that she’s in love with you. [ “OMG he calls every night OMG he’s so sweet caring and understanding OMG he’s so smart and funny OMG he gives me butterflies”]

  • Oh yeah that’s right. I nearly forgot. Make sure that you can make her laugh. Act like an idiot, crack jokes, tickle her …I don’t care, just do whatever it takes.

  • Let her feel superior to you occasionally. [even though you totally think that she isn’t] [you ass!*smacks you*]

  • Be nice, but don’t be TOO nice. Coz nice guys are just boring. [ yes, sad truth people: women expect everything in their guys…deal with it]

  • TA-DA! There you go. She has fallen for you. Hook line and sinker. You lucky bastard you *rolls eyes*


I realize that by writing all of this, I’m selling the secrets of my sex…and also kind of demeaning them in the exact same note.


*thinks about what I have done*


Hmm…nah… I don’t care. *shrug*


This article has been written with the purest intentions of pissing..erm.. provoking people. Enjoy!

31 comments:

  1. gwynciar said...

    This girl you speak of... where in FairyLand does she exist? A mental institution?  

  2. maanasih said...
    This comment has been removed by the author.
  3. maanasih said...
    This comment has been removed by the author.
  4. Radvixen said...

    O_o
    so true.
    damnit!
    :S  

  5. maanasih said...

    hear hear hear. But you should mention what happens to the girl who actually doesn't fall for it.

    Typical Man gets insulted (yikes) and she's a biatch, a wannabe, a fake retard, etc.

    Ps. Excuse moi for spamming, couldn't help but make idiotic spellin mistakes. Feeling neurotic cos I can't sleep.  

  6. subcorpus said...

    the girls are like gonna kick the living daylights outta you for sharing this with mankind ...
    hehe ...
    is this your gift to the world "dominated" by men ...
    or is this a hint to a certain someone ...
    hehe ...  

  7. The Typical Man said...

    Maa ~ I resent that.
    I've never called a girl a bitch, a wannabe, a retard unless she deserved to be called so. I mean, come on, what kind of lesbo-ho could resist my utter gorgeousness? -_-.

    She definitely had a case of the snooties, that one. *Nod*.  

  8. .mini said...

    subcorpus
    i aint gonna kick her ass
    somebody has to point it out for men
    hehe  

  9. Anonymous said...

    My glass shall not persuade me I am old,
    So long as youth and thou are of one date;
    But when in thee time's furrows I behold,
    Then look I death my days should expiate.
    For all that beauty that doth cover thee,
    Is but the seemly raiment of my heart,
    Which in thy breast doth live, as thine in me:
    How can I then be elder than thou art?
    O! therefore love, be of thyself so wary
    As I, not for myself, but for thee will;
    Bearing thy heart, which I will keep so chary
    As tender nurse her babe from faring ill.
    Presume not on thy heart when mine is slain,
    Thou gav'st me thine not to give back again.  

  10. Mrmaldivian said...

    This is a goldmine for guys, lots of gr8 pointers, thanks.
    hmmmm... I think u want certain someone to make u feel all these,eh?  

  11. gwynciar said...
    This comment has been removed by the author.
  12. Frozen Solid said...

    very true  

  13. bulhaa said...

    bah! men are stupid. this just proves it.
    start getting scared boyz.the women have figured out the tricks of ur trade.  

  14. ODIUM said...

    hehe...gurl nice tricks u hav taught the guys...am sure if a guy tries it, they wil get the girl...  

  15. yumma said...

    True True dearest shewi bewi! Sad tht some of our sisters fall head over heels so easily eh? :/  

  16. aesha said...

    what hapens to the girls who doesnt fall for all that  

  17. nass said...

    i dunnooo.. it's much more easier than this....  

  18. vincinity of obscenity said...

    @ bulhaa:: i commend what you have done here. bold. real bold. but we all know that isnt the ONLY way guys get the gals. but i think i used this very technique to snag someone very recently.  

  19. maail said...

    I think I've used these techniques more than a couple of times ;P

    sometimes i can't believe it's that easy..hehe  

  20. kaiza shozey said...

    u really want me to comment huh? ok here goes.

    yea, its true. this is one of the main 'tactics' a guy does. most of the times its the only one they do. u know why? cos they dont have a need to do it otherwise. guys have been using the same tactics over n over n over again generation after generation and u girls fall for it all the time except for a very very few. and it doesnt matter even if uve 'revealed' this uttermost secret that guys already know about. u see, its actually the girls that doesnt know this. hehe. and even if uve revealed it guys can still do the same thing again n again n be sure that they get the girl even if the girl is aware that the guy is doing the exact thing mentioned in 'bulhaa's blog'. the rest ive written in "relationships. why they fail" n u know. :p  

  21. saha said...

    haha damm this guy he's soo gud,yo men power haha realy learn from u bro damm.  

  22. Anonymous said...

    and... what should we do if this doesnt work?  

  23. Anonymous said...

    hi,look im really in love with this girl. But i really do not know what to do plz plz help me out. When i was walking home when she got off my bus stop she said hi to my cousin same grade as me but not to me and i really like her i will like nothing without her and im old fashion i want kids a good marriage and a good life  

  24. bulhaa said...

    dear anon...erm.. how old are you again?

    look, if u like someone that badly just take a chance and tell her. even if it doesnt work out its better than wondering for the rest of ur life.
    she's not a mind reader honey.  

  25. Shaffan said...

    does this actually work? o.O  

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    Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!  

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