i was privy to a rare thing last night.

a man to man conversation.

i have always wondered what on earth men talk about when they go on coffees.( i mean for crying out loud, these people spend hours at coffees with people they meet everyday!)

and last night. i had... a revelation, as to what exactly they talked about.

heres a sample of how the conversation went. [this is not the actual conversation (cant post that , it'll give away too much) but a conversation i built after studying the framework of the actual conversation.]

guy one: my car is big and shiny

guy two: my car has two engines!

guy one: in my day, the car only had one engine. and let me tell you. it was better than any old two engined car. i mean. it was big and shiny!

guy two: yea yea. and my car has shiny red metallic paint. and its so cool. it has a stereo too! and a {insert fancy car gadget} . im telling you. these {thingamabobs} are better than anything i have ever seen! and i own it!

guy one: hmm perhaps. but did it have -

ill stop here.

now. let us observe that conversation.

we can clearly see that guy one is trying to outshine guy two with his worldy wisdom that was granted to him with age. and guy two, is trying to outdo guy one by boasting of new shiny gadgets.

dear readers, we see here a standard example of what happens when two men [ or even more, the horror] get together and start yapping; they boast.


they sit in their little chairs
and they puff up their proud chests
and they blow hot air.

now dont condemn me just yet. call me not yet a stereotyping silly girl [save that for later] but instead, with me, look at certain aspects of the human behaviour. Maldivian human behaviour.

with respect to the population in Male', we can safely assume that while many girls now are going to 'coffees' the coffee scene is fairly dominated by men.

agree?

and with respect to human behaviour we can concur that when such specimens get together they can either
a) talk
b) get on mig33
c) smoke and drink coffee
or
d) leave

and with respect to certain statistics and phone witnesses- hmm let me explain with a few examples.

"honey i cant meet you tomorrow, im going to a coffee with the gang"
"sorry sweetheart, im still at the coffee. ill call you later"
"aww babe, ur going to sleep? im still with the guys. ill call you tomrow. gnyte"

well, ofcourse they bloody dont leave. and few get on mig33.( if you want to disagree with me here boys, you are agreeing to be a looser who goes to coffees to hang out with ur buddies but instead gets on mig33 to talk to girls.)

so what do they do?
they sit. they smoke. they drink coffee . and they talk.

what on earth do they talk about?
well we all know that you can only either talk about something or someone .

agree with me so far?

lets say they talk about something. the fact is this:

you can never talk about something without relating it to someone.

its true. even if you were talking about a fancy car or mobile, you can talk about its basic functions or paint coat for only so long. the conversation would drift to the realms where you wonder who made it, who bought it, who uses it. who?

someone.

and that someone, can only be you or me. the speaker or someone else.

do u agree?

and do you also agree that if you are talking about someone else, then you are merely gossiping?? [ even if it isnt something bad about that person, you could unknowingly be spreading information about that particular person which the person didnt want to be known. that act would be a felony in itself.]

and men wouldnt gossip would they?? no they would not indulge in such a tainted act. *rolls eyes*

so we can safely concur that they are indeed.
talking.
about.
themselves.

do you still think im a stereotyping silly girl?
feel free to say so.
but if i also have managed to stop you and made you think.
feel free to place the blame on me
*wide grin*

eid mubarik everyone.

ps. this post was the result of my boredom, and the need to laugh at something. humor people. humor.

18 comments:

  1. www.subcorpus.net/blog/ said...

    this is all good ...
    but imagine if someone was to apply analytical methodology on a conversation between two girls while they had coffee ...
    the result may just suprise you ... it may not even be a pleasant surpise ...
    hehehe ...
    i still remember a few weeks back i ended up having coffee with two girls ...
    they talked about going shopping that evening and for 45 minz discussed which shops they'd go to ... and which shops had new arrivals and cooler stuff ...
    on the 46th miniute ... they decided they wudnt go shopping ...
    amazing ... hehe ...  

  2. moyameehaa said...

    haha.but still i will call you a stereotyping girl..not necessarily silly.

    its is about boys you say...and about maldivians some other person say..and about asians..will another one say.. and another might say about people of this age...but another old...verryy old...10,000 yrs old dracula maybe... would say it is all about stupid homo sapiens!

    but this kinda stupid behaviour is common more within some groups than the other... so i would not say you are wrong.maybe most maldivian men are like that.

    but i have seen both sides of this story..ive been around with both groups.but challanging people like that or boasting about our selves is maybe part of our culture.or is it genetic?

    because in old zuvaabukurun..women will lift their kandiki and show and hit on that part...and say.. "kaley fatha folhi ah vure magey fathafolhi maa dhon vaane"...  

  3. Caligula X said...

    Hhmm...
    Interesting analysis..
    Stereotyping.. No..
    Blindsighted.. Yes..

    Men talk abt cars, chicks(specific body parts included), bikes, relationships, sex etc..
    But...
    I think your being unfair or u cant actually see it..
    Men? Gossip? Boast? Yes true.. I wont lie.. But compare tht to women..
    Women.. my dear..
    Dnt evn get me started..
    What follows is a typical conversation that is pertinent of two females...

    Scene 1
    *the enclosed sections are what really goes thru their heads

    Grl 1: hey, where dyu buy tht dress.. it looks lovely on you
    (i wanted one like tht, but fuckin slut got it first.. nw i cant coz id be like her)
    Grl 2: Oh thanks (yeah i knw u wanted one like this, but u aint got the shape to pull this off so sorry dear) i got it at this *insert fancy dress shop abroad or sumthin* (bitch i really got this at the sale at tht corner shop)

    Although this conversation is typical.. this is of two women who momentarily hate each other (yeah momentarily) or hate each other but forced to show face..
    Which they will do.. Unlike most guys.. Only to slate each other behind their back..

    Nw Two frnds..

    Scene 2

    Grl 1: Hey u wanna go shoppin with me? I need to get some eyeliners and cosmetics..
    Grl 2: Yeah sure.. Can we go to the salon on the way back coz id like to get my hair done..

    True??

    then in another scenario ud slate your bfs for this n tht... talk abt how it was last night.. wat he did.. cudnt do.. etc...
    Maybe not as to the point n direct as us guys bt u do talk abt this...

    And gossiping???
    "grl, u see tht slut across the street.. budeh othee kee ves nooney adhi thui vefa edhanee.. eyna eheree burugaa elhifa tha? balaabala lain huri ehchehi.."

    "ey adu ehintha? Mary eyna bitaa rulhi viyyo... Eyna bitu maa undhagoo serious vanee oa.. adhi ehakah dhuvahu ekamu rattehi vee ves.. ekamu ingeytha emeehun miveni miveni kameh kuran thibbaa redu ves vee oa mary bappa ah.."

    Bulhaaa... We gossip.. we boast.. we talk a lot of shit..
    bt u gotta admit..
    women do, do it bigger and better ;)
    Ta..  

  4. MrMv said...

    A good reading, no holidays for me so this article did keep me company.
    Sadly its statistically biased,u should have taken a FEW random samples b4 reaching a CONCLUSION. Coincidently this is a about a rare proportion of RICH level male personnel, thus the majority NORMAL male personnels cant b judge just only by this fiasco. Thus its back to the drawingboard for u,hehehehehehehe...  

  5. MrMaldivian said...

    A good reading, no holidays for me so this article did keep me company.
    Sadly its statistically biased,u should have taken a FEW random samples b4 reaching a CONCLUSION. Coincidently this is a about a rare proportion of RICH level male personnel, thus the majority NORMAL male personnels cant b judge just only by this fiasco. Thus its back to the drawingboard for u,hehehehehehehe...  

  6. kaiza shozey said...

    lol. hggg. thank god u never change 'moyameehaa'. hehe. varah obi ingey. same to u too caligula. and u know bulhaa, that last paragraph in moyameeha's comment is true. it still happens in some islands.

    Well, in my experience guys DO talk about cars. but ive never encountered such a case like the one uve mentioned above. u were jes too lucky i guess.

    never encountered a person who enters mig33 during coffees even if they might reply to an sms to their gf or so.but wont be surprised if some ppl out there does it. maybe it happens in those coffees which are really boooring.

    We DO 'gossip'. if its a felony its one that everyone commits. everyone gossips in some form if it be with their lover, best friends or whatever. (is this the point where we say that we share EVERYTHING with our gf's and say that its NOT gossiping?) why do we do it? cos its jes damn fun making fun of all those stupid ppl out there. and EVERYONE does stupid stuff at some point in their lives. you dont have to tell their names or so, but still its the act or event that happened to that certain person thats funny. everyone in the gang has to be updated on whats going on plus it brings a good laugh along with it.

    If a girl has probs with her 'man' being at coffees with his friends she's jes too bored and got nothing to do except ponder over the thought that her 'guy' isnt with her and having a swell time with his friends. (alot of jealousy right there as well). she needs to spend more time with her friends, go out more and do sumthing with her life.

    But i do agree with u that there might be guys out there who does follow every single thing uve mentioned. thats jes sad. poor buggers. but u know, its the same with women. they're alot better at it than us quoting caligula. ;). been a long time since uve written like this. keep em comin  

  7. bulhaa said...

    *happy sigh*
    glad u enjoyed it guys

    kaiza: ive got one more theory bouncing in my head [evil grin]
    and also the cars were hypothetical.

    mr.mv: i wrote this article not based on one male , but a whole buncha males.( both the majority of the males i hear about and met) and built it upon the fact that one freak of nature cant shoot my theory down coz well, one freak didnt act as proof of it. no. it was a statistically significant number of freaks. :D
    even if im wrong. i sure had fun writing it.


    caligula: are u male or female? at this point im really curious.
    well, girl/boy i never mentioned that women DIDNT gossip now did i? we all know they do and we all know that more women will be in hell because of it. i was just enjoying a laugh at them poor blokes expense. laugh with me.

    moyameeha: they do that?? lol. hats off to women eh?

    subcorpus: if i were to apply the same analysis to women, the post i would be writing would be far dirtier and uglier. now u dont want my bloggie to become ugly n dirty now wouldcha? (insert sweet innocent pout)  

  8. Caligula X said...

    Hehehe..
    Curious huh?
    well we all knw curiousity killed the bulhaa *wink*..
    Hehehe..
    Keep on guessin..

    Cheers  

  9. HaLku said...

    maybe the "honey im still at coffee" person wasn't at coffee at all..  

  10. Mode said...

    wow
    im clueless.....  

  11. maail said...

    entirely not true when it comes to me and my friends.. *shrug*  

  12. bulhaa said...

    halku: u said it. not me

    mode: there there honey *hugs* sucks to be male doesnt it?

    maail: like i said. one freak of nature cant tumble down my theory. *sweet smile*  

  13. Shanu said...

    bulha:good post.. though id have to agree with some guys here and say its not the typical conversation at our table.. maybe thats because its a mix in our case and no one sex dominates the other.. theres the occasional boasting and the gossiping and bitching ofcoz.. but al men arnt himbos .. lol

    caligula x: I object and take offence, coz you;v potrayed too few stereotypes.. makes me wonder where us women fall.. We coudlnt be alien now could we.. I have got the gape mouthed cod fish reaction a couple of times though.. So it could be tat i suppose..  

  14. Simon said...

    I think it all comes down to social groups and applies to both sexes. Like-minded individuals usually form groups. So there maybe a group of men who get togther at a restaurant and talk about fancy cars and mobile phones. Another might get together at a house and play cards while talking politics.

    And usually, I find that as we grow older some of us tend to jump groups while others stick together even in their late thirties and fourties talking and teasing each other about women just as they did in their teens.

    Personally I've jumped groups about 3 times now. Right now I'm in a group-vacuum.

    --

    Why we humans cannot talk about something without relating it to someone is obviously because we are social beings. The purpose of us having complex languages is to communicate. It is in our nature to relate everything to someone. Those things we cannot relate to another human we go so far as to attribute them to a humanlike being we don't even see.

    You have tried to equate communication with 'gossiping'. While gossiping is also a form of communication, not all communication is gossip. Where your theory is weak is not because you've stereotyped a particular sex but where you've stereotyped all information / communication as gossip. You should look up the meaning of gossip just for the fun of it.

    --

    Fun post.. :)  

  15. bulhaa said...

    shanu: i know that. :) im just having a bit of fun.

    simon: glad u found it so.  

  16. kaiza shozey said...

    Hats off to SImon on his part about gossiping and communication. hear hear.  

  17. Frostmourne said...

    burugaleh alhaigen geyga onnan jehuneema heevaaney meesmeehun karaa lonjey kiyaey ves  

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